


Why You Gotta Be So Talkative

by royalreddeath



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Emotions, M/M, No Spoilers, Talking, Talking Through Feelings, i haven't played the game yet i haven't been spoiled this has no spoilers, no leaks, post kh3, you know they're gays who were hurt badly it's that kind of thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 07:38:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17556125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalreddeath/pseuds/royalreddeath
Summary: Lea and Isa talk after the trouble is all over.I used the tagging system stupidly, but it's because I want you all to know this is post kh3 but I have no idea what happens in kh3. I wrote more than half of this while blacked out.





	Why You Gotta Be So Talkative

“I talk too much.”

“Yes, I know that.”

“You used to be really good at shutting me up.”

“I don’t recall ever trying to in good situations.”

“Maybe what I’m remembering was just daydream mixed into real life, then.”

“I have no idea what you’re going on about, Lea.”

“Whatever, it’s nothing. You see any of the kids today? They’ve been asking about you.”

“Have they really?”

“Well, no, but I really think you’d like them if you let them give you a chance.”

“I don’t feel like talking about how I apparently need to prove to people that I’m not who I was under Xehanort’s control. I want to know why you said you talk too much.”

“Well, hah.” Lea’s hand went instinctively to the back of his head, running his fingers through his mess of hair and scratching at his head with an awkward laugh. “It was really just me thinking aloud?”

“About you talking too much?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not doing much of it now.”

“It’s always because I’m dancing around stuff, isn’t it? I’m better at getting to the point when I have one I want to talk about.”

“Lea.”

“Yeah, yeah. I must want to talk about this, I brought it up.”

“Lea…”

“I’m just being like I was as a kid, it’s gotta be a little pathetic. I get the time to talk to you after you went and nearly died on me.”

“I nearly caused you to die.”

“That’s not true and even if it is, I’m repressing it.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“Yeah, well, I’m joking. I know everything that went down, you don’t have to remind me. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, but you have to feel guilty about hurting me? Even the parts that weren’t even physically you?”

“It’s different. And stop changing the subject, Lea. If you don’t get to the point…”

“What are you gonna do, kiss me?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Get to your point.”

“What?”

“I’m waiting for you to make your point.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re stupid.”

“Lea, get to your point already.”

“How are you going to stop me from getting off topic?”

“You’re calling me an idiot while you spout out nonsense?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“That’s my point. My point is kiss me.”

“That’s not a point, Lea.”

“I was thinking about when we were kids, we almost got there a few times, but neither of us really could comprehend that the other had a big, stupid crush.”

“I never had a crush on you, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Isa, I’m telling you I had one, so you can take your chance to admit to having one too. I figured it out.”

“It wasn’t like it was a puzzle. I thought I was being obvious.”

“You really weren’t!”

“You weren’t either.”

“I’ve kissed you before.”

“No you haven’t?”

“Your cheek?”

“That happens sometimes.”

“Does it?”

“Alright, not in Radiant Garden, but some places.”

“I’m probably stupid and missed things too, like whenever we went out to the edge of town to sit together. You probably did plenty of stuff to try to clue me in, but I didn’t catch anything either.”

“I just said I thought I was pretty obvious about it.”

“So, now that we’re done being stupid, kiss me.”

“I’m not going to just kiss you now because you told me to. We were children.”

“I still love you.”

“You…”

“I still love you. Never have I had a moment of being Lea where I didn’t love you with my whole heart.”

“What has you being so sappy right now?”

“I want you to kiss me, I already told you.”

“After everything I did?”

“What did you do?”

“I hurt you.”

“What did you do?”

“I hurt you.”

“Do I need to go through a list? Tell you every single thing you did that was too obviously not you? Remind you that neither of us had emotions that were ready to be accessed and understood for years? Remind you that I would’ve died for you? Axel would’ve died for you to get your heart back.”

“Saïx would’ve let him. And stop talking about it as if Saïx wasn’t me. Axel was you, Saïx was me.”

“Saïx was possessed.”

“You seem to think I didn’t have any control over my own body.”

“Isa, I just want you to kiss me.”

“And I want to kiss you.”

“Nothing’s stopping you.”

“We’re finally communicating. I think we need this.”

“Yeah.”

“So. Respond to me.”

“I wasn’t listening.”

“Lea, you are going to drive me crazy one day.”

“Isa, I don’t want to talk, I want to kiss you. That’s the whole point. That’s why I brought you out here like when we were kids. Have a few minutes of talking about things or a few minutes of silence and hope that all leads to you kissing me.”

“You started talking about important things and we haven’t talked about them yet, we need to.”

“You don’t want to talk about it either.”

“We need to.”

“You don’t want to.”

“You’re right, but we should.”

“Kiss me.”

“No.”

“We can always talk later.”

“I never said I still like you like that.”

“We both know you do.”

“... Yes, well, we should still do the healthy thing for once.”

“I don’t have it in me right now, Isa. You don’t have to kiss me, I just don’t have it in me to talk after everything that happened. Maybe in a few days, maybe if it was just one trauma ago, but I just can’t do it right now.”

Lea could see guilt washing over Isa’s face as if it was entirely his fault Lea couldn’t find the words to talk about what they’d both done. He’d just wanted to come out here and talk about their feelings for each other, not about all the situations they’d found themselves in since they died the first time. Logically, he knew they were all intertwined in a way that neither of them could really avoid, but he’d hoped they could just skip a few steps and just exist around each other.

He could feel the discomfort in the silence he’d caused, he could feel everything and that was the problem. Why was it that he always longed for the return of something that he knew hurt him? It was part of recovery, getting past that, but that was a long ways away, he knew it was. He wasn’t going to get better overnight, not even when he could see Isa whenever he wanted.

“You know I don’t blame you for any of what happened, right?”

“I realize that, but you should,” Isa said in a cool, even tone. Repressing emotions seemed to have become his natural state upon his return to himself. Lea knew it was from Isa having a difficult time coming back to himself as only himself, especially after years of being lied to. The final year was probably the most rough on Isa’s ability to emote, but that was just Lea’s guess. Being denied the chance to return to yourself when other people were able to sounded horrible. “I should be hated by all of you. I ordered deaths that-”

“C’mon, Isa, neither of us are really all that sorry.”

“I am. About Ienzo.”

“Oh. Well, I can’t say that I am. Not really. Call me bitter, but killing Vexen was cathartic. Killing Zexion wasn’t the same, but it worked out in the end. I didn’t exactly feel bad for helping them come back. You shouldn’t either, we both did shit when we were nobodies, it was us, but we were empty and felt that emptiness. Not to mention that we were lied to and murdered.”

“I finally saw the puppet’s… the girl’s face. Xion’s. It makes sense that you were protective of her now. I was unaware that replicas could develop their own personalities.”

“That’s on me.” Lea took in a breath and let it out slowly. “I didn’t report back about the replica Vexen made of Riku developing his own personality because I felt… bad. About the way we all treated him… and I didn’t have it in me to really know yet, I certainly wasn’t able to come to terms with it.”

“You say you felt bad treating the replica poorly, but not for killing someone you knew and worked with?”

“Isa, it’s… you know it’s complicated. If I admit I feel bad about one, but not the other, especially now that everyone’s on one side again and everything’s over… What kind of person does that make me?”

“One who’s been wronged.”

“You didn’t see Vexen.”

“You’re right, I didn’t. We were talking about how you felt bad for one and not the other? You feel bad about Vexen and not Zexion?”

“No. No, fuck. I feel bad about Ienzo.”

“And Vexen was nothing?”

“No, I’m not saying that.”

“You seem to be.”

“Fuck, Isa, I don’t want to talk about this. I really don’t. Can we please, please just talk about us if we’re going to talk.”

“I haven’t been directing this conversation enough for you to not be able to bring us up again. Though, I don’t want to talk about us as much as you don’t want to talk about this.”

“I just wanted to be with you. Feel things that should be familiar and better again now that I can look at you and see you.” Lea spoke uncharacteristically quietly. “I don’t want to think about every piece of guilt eating me up from inside, I just want to look at you. Feel your heart beating next to mine. Stop thinking entirely and just feel how close we are to being back.”

“... I still don’t think that’s entirely healthy.”

“I don’t care what’s-”

“But I understand.”

“Can you please just…”

“Kiss you?”

Lea nodded and finally, after letting more pain out than Lea had wanted to, Isa leaned over and cupped his jaw. Their lips finally touched and Lea could swear he could hear nothing but their hearts beating.


End file.
